Cry-Onic Conquistadora

Name of artist: Kimber Nicoletti, MSW, LCSW; Survivor - Indiana
Gender: female
Message: My guerra complexion is the evidence of the raping of my great-great Grandmother by the Men of Cortez. Her rape at the hand so white men was not to be the last in mi familia. I was sexually molested as a child at the hands of my white stepfather. My voice was frozen as was my soul. I felt uncomfortable in my own body. After living through the years of sexual abuse, I found the voice to tell my mother who denied my pain. She created a wall that was high enough so that she did not have to hear my cries. I was frozen and crying though no one could hear my voice, not even I could hear myself.
My strong heart continued to beat in spite of its wounds. Lacerations grew deep as I was forced to witness the slaughtering of believed animal friends. My voice, my soul frozen and my heart continued to beat.
He crouched quietly in the corner, steel metal gun his crutch to balance him. The house was dark. I was frozen with fear, with shame, with shock. One synapses of the brain and his fists pelt at mother mother shattering her face. She denies her own pain. Is she frozen?
Years pass, I am lost in the hurricane of my mind. My Aztec heart continues to pound out the rhythm of the warrior’s cry. The cry to live, the cry to be.
From my wounded womb, I grew a lush garden of florals that are strong and thrive. Their fragrant bouquet brought warmth casting a moist dew on the long frozen voice. My voice grew stronger with every beat of my heart. My voice sang a note that shattered the ice for the first time I realized I existed.
Twenty years later, I have grown with my voice. The emotional stagnation that lingered has passed along with other emotional baggage that I have been able to release. I am at a conference in San Diego, CA where I am preparing to present on child sexual abuse in thirty minutes. I get a call from home. It is my brother. He is sobbing. He has just learned that his daughter has been sexually molested by my white stepfather. He believes her. Her voice is not frozen. Her voice is heard.

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